Happy New Year! It's the first post of the year for Alex J. Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group. Check it out by clicking HERE!
If you've read my previous blog posts then you know that I have high anxiety. I'm insecure about damn near everything before I go for a run and beat the crap out of myself for at least forty minutes.
My New Years resolution is to practice more gratitude. I know. Yawn town. Right?
I was put off by gratitude being the new 'it' topic at the bookstore. It took a while, but once looking into gratitude as a practice, it started to make sense. If you're grateful for what you have in the present moment you are bound to achieve more and stress out less. (No, Mom. I didn't do it because you said to. Ahem.)
This is important for writers. My head 'fix it' trick is this. When something really bothers me, instead of dwelling on not having the power to do something right then and there and plotting my revenge, I remind myself I can write about it. It's really lucky I can exercise my demons by sharing my observations with the world. I give an example of this below.
For this I have hella gratitude.
This isn't like Marie Kondo's, The Magical Art of Tiding Up where you say shit like, thank you for keeping me warm, to your sweaters. That's silly.
It's more like when your car gets towed and instead of fuming back at the world you say out loud to yourself (because it scares others into not making fun of you), "The San Francisco tow yard is better than going to a concentration camp in Sri Lanka. Sure gonna suck to be the tech mogul I skid into since I can't make it to my getting new tires appointment today."
This shit works.
Yet, as I skip down gratitude lane there's always something that makes me stop and say, "Fucking really? I'm supposed to find gratitude after seeing that?"
|And stupid. Don't forget stupid.|
I come from a long line of military, and I'm pretty sure this darling little angel wouldn't have awards, commendations, and medals without the 'bitches kick and scream' movement. Neo-feminism or modern feminism could be an argument, but feminism? I'm positive some women don't know what that word means. Still, I have gratitude. Women have the opportunity to flex muscle and be woefully ignorant. And they do it just as well as any man.
Demons exorcised. This house has been cleansed.
Initially I got upset because the above proves that shooting people while ignorant and owning a vagina aren't mutually exclusive. However, I now have gratitude because I can obtain a 'license to conceal' permit while owning a vagina... um...
Where was a going with this?
Despite all the heinous fuckery we deal with daily, what do you feel gratitude for?