Friday, October 24, 2014

Chuck Palahnuik was at the DNA Lounge but I had to work at the bookstore. :(

Chuck Palahnuik was at the DNA lounge in San Francisco and I had to work. Imagine being in a store surrounded by his books knowing he's a short drive away.

My friend, attorney and photographic reporter, Kevin Barrett got to go and scored me this!

Arm Signed By Chuck Palahniuk!

 According to Kevin, Chuck has seen fans a year after he'd signed their arm in fat permanent marker and they still had the signature, only now it's a tattoo. This gave him the idea.

I heart my dismembered arm!

 Kevin described Chuck Palahniuk as alternately down to earth engaging to antagonistic and eccentric. To this event he wore a Hugh Hefner style red silk bathrobe. Fitting, given his new book, Beautiful You, is about marketing possibilities of female pleasure reaching apocalyptic proportions.

When asked what his problem was with women Chuck replied, "Don't you read the internet? I hate women!"

When asked about character development Chuck described how he doesn't focus on sex or race when writing, ever.

So there you have it folks. Chuck Palahniuk despises you all equally, regardless of race, color or creed. He's an equal opportunity hater and I like that.

Chuck Palahniuk's arm in travel section!


Thursday, October 2, 2014

I'm Late for IWSG Post. Here's why...

I'm late for Alex J. Cavanaugh's I know I come up with fantastic excuses because I'm talented at fiction, but this is the best one so far.
Grown up Kristi is actually grown up Adrienne! See the swollen glands?
When I was a kid, I thought I was drawing a portrait of my cousin all grown up. Now, I have proof I'm a gifted psychic. I was sketching myself. It all happened last week.

First my face looked like this.

Then this.

End result.

My glands swelled up for a week! You know you look fucked up when the hospital nurse taking your temperature asks if you've been to West Africa recently. 

I'm okay now,

...but I want to give a big F.U. to Kaiser Hospital. I've never had a problem with them before and I'm shocked. I was given the worst care. It took a whole week to get my blood test results back and then I had to have my mom and sister-in-law interpret the graph. 

I don't/didn't have the mumps or mono. So, WTF? I can't even get my doctor on the phone. 

I had a fever and my salivary glands stopped working, giving me a toad throat. My breathing was inhibited. All my doctor could suggest was if my breath got really short and/or I started drooling on myself, to call 911 or go to the ER. 

Any suggestions on what this was?